Russell Tovey Opens Up about Dating, Sex, Stardom, and Star Signs

"Looking" star Russell Tovey sat down to dinner with "Modern Family" alum and podcast host Jesse Tyler Ferguson to talk about queer dating, his new movie, and how he "confused sex with death..."

Meeting up at an Indian restaurant in London's Shoreditch neighborhood, the two actors discussed Tovey's love of art (one surprising early influence: the 1980s cartoon "Ren & Stimpy") and the way he's now determined to make art more accessible through his "Talk Art" podcast.

They also talked about his passion for karaoke and Tovey's early life as a queer kid in Essex, England in the 1980s, a time and place of homophobia that was only worsened by a British "Don't Say Gay" law that acted to marginalize and silence LGBTQ+ students while Tovey was still in school.

It was also the height of the HIV/AIDS pandemic, and for Tovey – who was discovering his sexuality at the time – the fear of AIDS was deeply scarring.

"I confused sex and death," Tovey stated plainly. "I would think pleasure could mean I would die. And from, like, the age of 14, 15 terrified of getting anything – terrified that I was just gonna, you know, die."

"That is so much to have to sort of unpack as you get older," Tovey continued, "and I'm so in awe of and happy that there is this young generation now that don't even consider death with sex at the same time."

It didn't help to see ads on television that dramatized illness and death as a consequence of sex. "It was like: Death! You're going to die," Tovey recalled of the John Hurt-narrated spot that encouraged viewers to educate themselves about HIV. "And that was on the news... so you'd be watching TV at home with your family, and then suddenly this advert would come on. I just [remember] as a kid going, 'What the fuck is that?' Terrifying."

"And they don't know that that's me," Tovey added of his parents when he was a teenager. "That's about me!"

Tovey felt he needed to flee his rural home in Essex and get to London in order to be gay. "As a gay person, I feel like we always flock to the metropolis. It's quite rare that, within families, that the queer kid will stay close to home," the actor mused. "They normally have to go and find a community... as a creative person, definitely, but as a gay person, I can't be who I'm meant to be unless I'm in the metropolis."

Tovey grew increasingly animated about the need for queer artists to continue making authentic art, given the rising level of homophobia in the world. That said, he added, his run with the theatrical hit "The History Boys" became so overwhelming that he found himself daydreaming about being attacked by a knife-wielding assailant on the subway – "just a surface wound" – and not needing to be in that night's performance.

Tovey has become a successful movie and television actor since then. He might still best be known for his stint on HBO's "Looking," but he's also starred on "American Horror Story," and he has a plum role in the upcoming film "Plain Clothes." Based on a true story, the film is about about a vice cop in the 1990s embarking on a forbidden love affair.

Eventually, the discussion turned to other gay dating – and Tovey was happy to share his thoughts. "I'm single," Tovey volunteered. "That's my love life."

The actor went on to explain that while he is "very social," he finds it "a weird scenario when you date and you're in the public eye," he said. That "imbalance" had led to situations in which he would be meeting with someone who knew a lot about him without having met him before, "and your question is, like, 'So, what's your name again?'"

At this point, Tovey has begun relying on the star signs of dates. "I've not been someone who's been into astrology all my life," the "Suspect" actor explained, "but I like to go, like, 'What's your star sign?'... and I've got star signs of exes that I'm trying to avoid," he said.

Tovey himself is a Scorpio, and he's on the lookout for those born under a compatible constellation. He told Ferguson that "when you're dating, it seems really basic and, like, ridiculous, but I do go, 'Oh. okay, cool, because you are compatible.'"

"I like being in a relationship," Tovey went on to say. "I like having a witness." Moreover, he added, he likes to share the "perks" of his fame. "It's a shame when it's just for me."

Watch a promo clip of the interview below, and then see what else Tovey has posted to his Instagram.